


With a heartbeat

by madswritings



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mild Angst, Mild anger, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madswritings/pseuds/madswritings
Summary: Reader is Frederick’s secretary and after he is shot by Miriam she waits for his return. When Frederick finally shows up in his office she has more than couple of things to say to him. | As per request on Tumblr





	1. Chapter 1

Even before you started working as Frederick Chilton’s secretary you heard about his arrogance, about his possibly unorthodox methods to rehabilitate his patients and at the same time – how actually smart and insightful he is as a psychiatrist. Trying to be smart yourself you decided that you will make your opinion about your new boss by meeting him and working with him but after you shook hands you saw that at least half of these rumors were true and not the part about how smart Frederick can be.  
Yet you swallowed your pride and your personal opinion about this man before actually starting working for him. And thus months began passing buy much faster than you imagined. While you had suspicions about Frederick treating Abel (and in the end you were right when Chilton was found with his innards presented in a bow) you couldn’t help but lean towards liking this man. Frederic appears, or at least he tries to appear, to be of high intelligence and it’s not always far from the truth but the more you worked for him, the more you felt that he needs a guiding hand even at running his own hospital.  
At first, of course, he dismissed your thoughts and advises telling you that he knows what’s best for his patients and the hospital but slowly, and surely, you made your way through his tough shell and Frederic started taking your opinion seriously. And while he never really showed it you saw a different man behind that shell too. Not so arrogant, maybe even scared. Scared of his own mistakes and currently – of the world he lives in. After Abel used him in the most gruesome way Frederick closed off himself from you. You almost were sure that he will fire you soon too, but days went by and you understood that he won’t do it.  
And then Frederick almost died, yet again. You almost worried yourself crazy because no one was telling you anything or letting you meet him and despite everything that Frederick was, you felt that you wanted to work with this man. And maybe not only that.  
You were still not sure about your feelings for him when you finally heard that he was released not only from the hospital but from the jail as well. You tried not to think about it because it always comes down to two things in your mind – he did horrible things but he’s a good person who was corrupted by the power he has over his patients.  
After he was released you tried contacting him but Frederick’s phone was always off, he didn’t reply to your emails and when you visited his house a couple of times he either wasn’t there or simply didn’t answer the door. Not only Frederick’s health (mental and physical) worried you. No one was telling you what’s going to happen with the hospital. While you were partially running it in Frederick’s absence you knew it won’t be this way forever nor you would want it to be. You can’t claim that being a secretary is your passion, but you chose this profession yourself and you feel comfortable doing it.  
When you came in today you stopped by Frederick’s office door before heading to yours. You keep his office locked and only you have the key but you rarely go there, only if you need something related to work. While you resisted the urge to worry any more than necessary you headed to your office and started the day. Most of the prisoners were being prepared to be transported. Without Chilton you can’t run the hospital and you don’t understand why no one else has been assigned yet but you have no right to question the decisions of people you haven’t even met. Everything you needed to do was sent to you via email and that was all.  
While you sit in your chair behind your desk you pick up the phone because for a split second you remember that you need to call someone but then it’s lost again so you stay still in the silence room with phone in your hand, trying to remember once more what it is that you need to do. Suddenly you frown when you hear something in the corridor.  
You put the phone back to its place and slowly stand up trying to hear more. Yes, you are sure, you heard something like a lock being turned and then even more silently – the creak of the door handle.  
Confused and with your brows kit you head to your door and open it looking at the hallway. It’s empty but you’re sure you heard someone. There are only two more rooms here and while other one is Chilton’s office the other is a bathroom which doesn’t need any key because it’s always unlocked, at least the front door. Yet you can’t leave it this way, now can’t you. You are already too used to being alone in this whole floor so a guest who doesn’t even knock on your door is a strange guest that probably has no business being here.  
First you check the bathroom and when you find no one there for a while you stand in the hallway thinking that maybe you heard something else. When you’re about to return to your office you unexpectedly hear something behind Frederick’s door. Now you’re angry. No one except you and Frederick himself has the keys to his office so either Frederick is back which is the least likely thing to happen today or someone broke in for personal records.  
With a determination of a warrior you grab the handle and rip open the door ready to establish your authority but it disappears like a popped balloon when you recognize, even from the back turned to you, that the person who you almost yelled at is Frederick.  
You stand by the door dumbstruck, with your lips parted from surprise like you just forgot how to breathe and with your eyes wide. Frederick doesn’t move for a while and when he decides that he won’t hear his visitor introducing themselves he turns just to find you frozen.  
“Oh, Y/N, it’s you. You’re quick to sense me around.” He sounds like he’s joking and there’s even a smile on Frederick’s lips but now you’re shocked double fold.  
Jack Crawford called you three days ago asking questions about the hospital and when you refused to give him anything if he’s not going to tell about Chilton he finally gave in and told you how Frederick was shot, how he survived and how despite best doctors working on his he still needs to wear prosthetics. The portrait of a man you worked for that you created in your mind sure is different from what you’re seeing now.  
“Well? Come in.” Frederick turns back to his desk where he’s shuffling through some papers. Finally you manage to swallow your shock and move inside closing the door behind you.  
“I didn’t expect to see you.” You admit and you hear a small chuckle coming from Frederick.  
“Well I can’t just leave my hospital, now can I?” You watch him put down the papers and turn to you. And you probably don’t hide your curious stare all too well because Frederick slightly shrugs. “I heard that Jack called you. I heard that he told you. And now you’re surprised because I don’t look…” He falls silence at the loss of words fit to describe himself. Frederick clears his throat. “Well, it’s all make up and prosthetic, Y/N. Thanks to some people who couldn’t even guarantee my safety I lost my natural beauty.”  
It sounds like he’s bitterly mocking himself and you don’t know what to say but words come out by themselves.  
“It’s not how you look, Frederick, it’s what’s inside of you. Your soul makes you beautiful.” You say like you’re watching yourself from aside. It’s not like you wanted to pour your heart out to a man who just came back and never even showed any unprofessional feelings toward you before.  
Apparently Frederick is just as surprised as you. He blinks a few times and gives you a strange look.  
“Are you feeling alright?” He asks carefully and you shake your head then step towards him just one step.  
“Of course not. You were missing and I couldn’t reach you and now you’re here acting like everything’s is okay. But it’s not. You don’t have to pretend that you’re not bothered by what happened to you, because I won’t. I was worried sick and I won’t stand here listening to you crack jokes.” It came out harsher than you intended but your emotions now are running your speech center and you can either stop talking and walk away or say whatever you have to say.  
Frederick watches you for a moment, then sighs and lowers his eyes to the carpet.  
“You don’t need to pity me, Y/N. I don’t want your pretend support or false attraction.” He says and it sounds sincere. This is the side you want to see, this is what you want to hear from Frederick – genuine thoughts, not that façade he puts on.  
“Frederick-“ You walk to him but he instantly backs up and bumps against his table, then he moves to the side and retreats to his chair while you still approach him. He stops when he bumps against his chair and then falls into it while watching your face. You see fear in his eyes and it’s not surprising. Maybe he expects for you to attack him. “Please, listen to me for once.” You frown and Frederick swallows without saying a word while you stand in front of him. You cross your arms on your chest. “I stand here because I care for you. And you should’ve seen that from my emails. If you even read them.”  
“You just cared for your boss.” Frederick says carefully and you frown even more shutting him up instantly.  
“I didn’t stay here looking after the hospital when you were gone because this seat is comfortable. Because it is not. And working for you is not easy either. When you put that baron title you often are insufferable. But do you even once asked why I stayed? Do you really think I wouldn’t be able to find a job if I quit? Answer me.” Your voice while silent is strict but you know you have to be this way if you don’t want Frederick become this arrogant piece of ass he most of the time is.  
Frederick watches you, pauses before answering then shrugs.  
“Why should I know your reasons?”  
“Because you claim you’re this super smart psychiatrist. Because you claim you can read people like books.” You raise your voice getting angry. You know he’s avoiding being sincere again and it gets on your nerves.  
Frederick panics for an answer just for a split second then his shoulders drop.  
“What you want me to tell you, Y/N? That I’m not as good as I say I am? That I’m a fraud? That it’s my own fault I always died not once but twice? Tell me.” His voice is tired, he gave up, he knows he can’t fight you. Not you, the only person who stayed by his side since day one.  
You uncross your arms and lean to him, grabbing the armrests while Frederick leans back in his chair as far as possible.  
“I want you to be you. At least around me. Frederick, I won’t play games with you. I know you’re not your role, that you’re just an actor in your own life. Stop it. Stop it right now.” You say calmly and inhale before speaking again. “I really do like you, Frederick. It might be stupid, it might be for the worst, but that’s how it is. I have dealt with my worry while you were gone now you have to deal with this in return. I don’t know what you think about me. I don’t. And if you don’t think positively then say nothing. But I’m speaking sincerely when I say – you’re not some broken doll ready for the trash. You have beauty inside of you. And with or without your make up – you’re still a handsome man to me. Maybe it’s just my stupid feelings making you beautiful despite everything you did, despite the way you look, but it is what it is.” You sigh falling silent for a moment. “I don’t think that what you went through, that what you look like now should be hidden. If you want to hide it – I understand. But you shouldn’t feel that you have to. These are scars of a survivor, of a man who beat death like you said not once, but twice. Wear them proudly.” You give him a sad smile because while you spoke Frederick’s face became sadder and sadder. And right now he looks like he actually might start crying.  
You don’t have anything else to say so you straighten your back, letting go of the armrests and you turn ready to leave, but you stop when you suddenly feel Frederick grabbing your hand. His grip is firm and warm, his fingers are slightly trembling and when you turn to look at him you see that he’s fighting his sadness right now.  
He stands up and pulls you into his arms, hiding his face in your hair. He holds you strongly in his arms and you wrap yours around him. You close your eyes letting him hold you, shake in your hands, silently sob in your hair.  
“I’m here for you, Frederick. I always will be.” You whisper trying not to give into sadness too. You heart is breaking seeing Frederick so vulnerable right now, but at the same time you are happy that he finally opened up to you.  
Finally, after few minutes pass Frederick leans back just enough to look at you.  
“Do you really mean that?” He asks.  
“Which part? But yes, I meant it.” You give him a small smile and Frederick pauses watching your face, your eyes, then attacks you with a kiss.  
It’s so sudden that for a moment you don’t understand what’s happening, but when you finally do you answer to his kiss. It’s a bit awkward. Not because of the prosthetics in his face that you know about, but because you’re kissing your boss. And it doesn’t matter if you have feelings for him or not. You both could lose jobs over this. But does it matter right now? Not even one bit.  
After you run out of breath because you forgot to breathe you break the kiss and look at him then give Frederick a little smile.  
“I think you’re still not convinced about the truthfulness of my words.” You say as you start pulling on his tie knot and Frederick feels lost for a moment, then smiles back at you.  
“Oh no, I’m not convinced at all. I think you’re a little.sneaky.liar.” He whispers as he leans to your ear and slowly rubs the tip of his nose against it.  
“Oh I might be sneaky, but I’m no liar, Doctor Chilton.” You almost chuckle, not because it’s funny because it’s sexy as hell, but because you’re so excited. Frederick is okay and he’s with you, in your arms. After you pull down his tie knot enough without actually undoing it you start unbuttoning his shirt very slowly.  
“Oh is that so?” You hear him whisper against your ear as his lips start nibbling on your jawline. “I think I might need some actual proof of that, Miss.”  
“Oh is that so?” You playfully mock him then push Frederick to his chair, making him sit. As you lean to his face with your palms grasping his knees you smile. “Let me see what I can do to give that proof.” You whisper last word against his lips and you kiss each other for a moment, but then you gently drop on your knees between Frederick’s legs.  
When you glance at him you see his pleasantly surprised expression and you bite your lip down as you undo his belt and pants. You let him watch as you firmly grasp the base of his erection and then lean letting it slide into the warmth of your mouth.  
You hear him exhale with a moan and when you start playing with him in your mouth Frederick leans his head back and closes his eyes. He grabs the armrests firmly and each time you take him as deep as you can he silently cries out. You close your eyes too, enjoying this very intimate moment, enjoying the feeling of giving, enjoying sounds you cause Frederick to make.  
Suddenly you both jump surprised when there’s a knock on the door. Frederick looks at you surprised but your side that likes to tease decides it’s not the time to finish this so you keep playing the tip of his cock while Frederick looks at the door. He remains silent in hopes that someone who decided to come exactly now will walk away but to his horror (and a bit of yours too) you hear the door open.  
“Dr.Chilton, I heard you were back and-“  
“Get out!” He orders and you almost start laughing but continue teasing Frederick under the table. It’s good that you’re not only behind a table, but there’s a couch in front too.  
“But I just…” The man says which from the voice you recognize as the head orderly. He falls silent before Frederick is even able to say anything. He notices Chilton’s loose tie, his halfway unbuttoned shirt and squeezes out a small smile. “I’ll come back later.” He murmurs so silently that you almost miss it and leaves closing the door. Once the man is gone Frederick looks at you, his face is flushed.  
“You can’t do this, it’s dangerous.” He tries to scold you trying to ignore his edge coming but you take him as deep as you can once more and he falls back against the backrest with a moan. “Y/N, this is crazy… Oh God…” he doesn’t even finish when his pleasure unfolds with a wave that shakes his whole body.  
You remain pleasuring him until he rides out his pleasure then stand up and leave to the bathroom. When you fix your appearance and brush your teeth (you and Frederick always keep spare clothes and necessities here just in case) you return to the door and pause not knowing what to expect when you’ll return to the office. Yet you do it anyway and once you open the door Frederick pulls you in and presses you against the same door closing it.  
“You ran away.” He whispers against your lips and you smile to him.  
“I have a protocol about these things. You’ll have to deal with it.” You grab him by his suit’s jacket and Frederick smiles.  
“It’s my turn to play at the playground, Y/N.” He brushes his lips against yours making you smile even wider.  
“Then we should probably lock the door.” You reach out and after feeling around you find the key then twist it in the lock. With the lock guarding your privacy Frederick gives you a short kiss and leads you to the couch.  
“Get comfortable.” He suggests and when you move to sit there Frederick takes off his jacket.  
You probably won’t do any work today but at least your boss allows it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frederick and Reader goes out on a date but neither of them feel good by being in a fancy restaurant. | As per request on Tumblr

After that day in the office, after what you could call a confession from at least you, you and Frederick decided to do something what, probably, you should’ve done from a start – a date. Actually it was Frederick’s idea and when he asked you on a date (all while looking really uncomfortable) you couldn’t say no. Not because you felt sorry for him, that was never an issue, but because it’s been literal years since last time you were on a date and you wanted to experience it again. And if it’s with Frederick then it’s even better. While sexual desires took the best of you both for the most time, you can’t deny that something more domestic is what you crave. And you feel this way because you don’t want to only bang your boss especially when you admitted your feelings for him. You want to be an item as they say and while Frederick looks like he has little to no idea how that works you decided to help him a bit.  
So you chose the restaurant. It was his idea too while you just wanted to see a movie with him but you said nothing because you didn’t want to discourage him. You also set the time because you sure know his and yours schedules better than Frederick does. And also you arranged him to pick you up. While Frederick didn’t explicitly said it but his expression clearly showed that he knows where you live and not in a ‘I saw it in your job application’ way. It made you think that he was actually interested in you too before you even decided to tell him how you feel.  
Frederick’s feelings are bit complicated theme, at least to you. While he did express his need of you it still isn’t clear if he has any deeper feelings or not. You let these thoughts roll around in your head while you are preparing for the dinner. You picked out your favorite dress and the only ‘high class’ one you have because you usually are not fond of such fancy places, liking to keep most of things simple. You glance at the clock seeing you still have about 30 minutes left so without any panic you head to your vanity mirror on the top of desk where you keep your make up and other beauty products including jewelry. You open the little box and it’s not empty but not that full either. You never did seem to acquire the taste for expensive things, maybe because your parents always humbled you while you were growing up. Joy of life, like they used to say, is not in shiny things or money.  
With a sigh you pull out earrings trying to see if they fit well with your dress when your attention is distracted by a phone buzzing on the desk. It’s a message and it’s from Chilton.  
You frown already imagining at least three different reasons why he would cancel your date but what you see makes you sigh with relief and smile.  
“I’m coming in 5, see you soon.”  
He’s a bit early, that’s true, but you’re glad that he appears to be excited as you feel.  
While barely containing your good mood you finally pick your earrings and a bracelet, then use some lipstick on your lips while making sure you look like you exactly imagined this morning. Right before your doorbell rings you manage to cram your little purse with what you think you might need and things meant ‘just in case’, then step into your heels and rush to the door.  
When you open it you find Frederick standing with a help of his cane. He looks sharp in a dark red suit and you can’t help but smile.  
“Looking fine this evening.” You say and Frederick, who was lost at thoughts after seeing you, finally snaps back to reality.  
“I should be the one complimenting you, Y/N.” He gives you a small smile and you see that he’s nervous. You feel a bit nervous yourself but you are surely the confident one this evening. “Shall we?” He offers you to hook your hand around his elbow and you smile a bit then lock your door and do as he wants.  
“If you’re not feeling up to this…” You start but Frederick just clicks his tongue.  
“It’s the first time I’m taking you out and you think I want to leave you looking like this?” Frederick glances at you while he’s leading you to the car and you almost chuckle, but shake your head.  
“No, sorry for caring about your health.”  
“My health is very good recently if you haven’t noticed.” There’s a smug expression on Frederick’s face and you know exactly what he’s thinking about.  
“Then you should thank your doctor.” You say and Chilton gives you another glance then smiles.  
“I’ll make sure she knows I’m grateful.” He adds and when you’re about to walk around the car you stop pulling your hand away.  
“Don’t bother, I can open and close car door on my own.” You reassure him and before Frederick says something you walk around the car and sit inside. For Frederick it takes a bit of struggling to settle down and while you watch him carefully in case he needs any help he gives you yet another smile.  
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to fall apart like some old chew toy.” There’s pride and arrogance in his tone and when you raise an eyebrow he clear his throat. “Sorry, old habits die hard.” He mutters obviously humbled by your expression then starts the car.  
On your way to the restaurant you engage in a small talk and it’s actually pleasant; it obviously makes Frederick relax a bit more. He admits that he hasn’t had a date since college days and well, it’s not like you can brag about your dates after finishing your studies either.  
When you finally stop a man opens your door and you climb out. When Frederick gets out too he gives his keys to a valet (with a bit of tip he tried to hide from your eagle eyes) then with a gesture for you to go first you both enter the restaurant.  
You stop immediately feeling out of place. There are people in fancy clothing everywhere and the place looks more than high class, it looks like something right out of a billionaire movies. Classical music, which you love so much, doesn’t help you relax even one bit. When you glance at Chilton you see how tensed his face is. While he’s not unfamiliar with fancy places he obviously feels strange being at one after his accident.  
“Can I help you, Sir?” Maître d’hôtel appears out of nowhere almost startling you both.  
“Ah yes, I had a table reserved for Doctor Chilton.” Frederick says trying to look like he belongs here and you do your part as well.  
“Yes, very well, please follow me.” A man in his late 50’s leads you through the sea of tables to the one by the window and helps you sit while Frederick is left to sit on his own. “Here are wine menu, someone will be with you shortly.”  
You both nod and a man finds his way back to the entrance of the restaurant. You look around feeling like people know that you’re not really a part of all this but no one really pays any attention to either you or Chilton.  
“What a nice man.” He mutters picking up the menu and opening it. He eyes the wide selection and finally knits his brows.  
“What’s the matter?” You ask and Frederick raises his eyes to look at you over the menu.  
“I don’t know any of these wines.” He whispers and you almost snort. You cover your mouth with your palm while you chuckle. Frederick is hiding his own silent laughter behind that same menu until you take it from him.  
“Just let me pick.” You decide and you look at the menu seeing only foreign languages. Puzzled expression on your face makes Frederick pull out a napkin and pretend to be coughing while trying to hide his laughter. “Don’t say anything.” You glance at him trying not to smile then lower the menu when a young guy, obviously your waiter, appears next to your table.  
“Have you picked already?” He asks politely and you give menu one more glance then instead of trying to pronounce something you can barely read you point at the title with your finger. “Very well.” He nods then hands you and Frederick food menus but not before starting his small rant about today’s and house’s specialties.  
It sounds delicious while some of the ingredients are foreign too. You look at Chilton wishing for him to help you out and when he notices your pleading look he orders two salads. When waiter disappears with both wine and food menus Frederick clears his throat.  
“I don’t know what you like. I hope it’s okay-“  
“It’s okay.” You cut him off not wanting to hear him being careful around you. You smile to him and when Frederick finally smiles back you rise a glass with water. He follows your example a bit confused. “For a first night out.” You announce and Frederick nods smiling again.  
“For the first night out.” You both take a sip and waiter comes back with your wine.  
While you wait for your food you chat a bit more, mostly about work but it’s a pleasant conversation because you both plan your time together even if you have to work. When food arrives the conversation continues but this time it’s about what either of you like, how you spend your free time and what literature you read.  
“I guess I’m not the first guy to take you out.” Frederick mutters trying to be nonchalant while you are still working on your salads and you smile because he wants to know about your romantic past while trying to be discreet when he’s, actually, not so discreet at all.  
“Well, you’re the first one to take me out to the fancy place as this.” You admit and Frederick’s hands stop over his plate. He looks at you a bit confused then returns to doing what he was doing just a moment ago – slicing tomatoes.  
“Then I need to take you out more.” There’s a small smile but you sign and put down your cutlery.  
“Frederick, can I be honest?” You ask and Frederick freezes then slowly raises his eyes to you.  
“Sure.” He mutters obviously nervous about something you haven’t even said yet.  
“This is not me.” You admit and Frederick blinks in confusion. “This place.” You glance around then return your eyes to him. “It’s not me. I’m a simple girl, Frederick. Turn on a movie, give me pizza and I’ll be happy. While I do appreciate your effort and this is an amazing new experience, I know I am most comfortable in a sweater and shorts, not in a dress.” You explain and Frederick pauses then gives you an almost shy smile.  
“To be honest, I feel out of place too. Maybe I’m a bit paranoid but being surrounded by so many strangers is making me feel nervous.” He sighs and you reach out taking his hand into yours.  
“Then let’s leave. We’ll pick up a pizza for me, some very healthy and delicious snacks for you, and let’s spend the rest of the evening watching boring old movies.” You smile already excited. You can see how excitement appears in Frederick’s eyes too.  
“Yes, yes, let’s do this.” He stands up and you follow his example, and while you try to pull out your wallet out of your small purse Frederick comes to you and puts his hand over yours.  
“Don’t. You already came up with plants twice, at least let me pay.” He asks and you can clearly see that it’s important to him so you give him a smile and close your purse.  
“Sure.” You say and with a nod and a smile Chilton takes out a bill, puts it on the table and leads you out of the restaurant.  
You feel much more excited than you felt for the restaurant and you won’t even have to wear heels. This evening is becoming better and better.  
“My place or yours?” Frederick asks when valet stops his car and gives him the keys.  
“Mine, because no one will know that we’re there.” You offer and Frederick smiles happily.  
“Sounds perfect to me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Want me to write a fic for you? Check my tumblr @madswritings.tumblr.com for current fic status and rules.


End file.
